Movie Review: Monster House PG-4 Strings

i respect this film for two reasons: 1) major stars voiced on this film and they weren't advertised
(and bully), and b) the end credits played a tune by siouxsie and the banshees. rent this one. its silly and harmless in a subversive kind of way.

Lindsey Lohan: Food

Lance Bass: 'Mo

Nicole: Rhymes With Filthy Rich

Stephen Colbert: Silly Guy

Atlanta Hilton: Evil Twin

Miss Universe

Movie Review: The Squid And The Whale R-4 Strings

absolutely hilarous movie...which later turned into absolute tradgedy. alot like the royal tannebaums without the stupidity. a bit worn in places, but a generally stellar film. tragic, but stellar.

Movie Review: The Constant Gardener R-2 Strings

oh man what a painful movie...bifurcated and duplicitous (look at me with the masters degree), and the use of freehand camera is insulting. global conspiracy onto the continent of africa. get your black belt in movie watching and go for this one. dont drink, though, youre going to need every cell to keep up.

Naomi Campbell: Hard

Janet Jackson: Getting Old

Christina Aguilera: Hack

Fantasia Barino: All Mouth

Movie Review: The Hills Have Eyes R-1 String

at this point, i really dont care anymore. bloody, but not gross...just plain lame. former students of mine left early on this one. at first i just thought they were being simple. turns out they were absolutely correct.

Movie Review: The Upside Of Anger R-2 Strings

sure there is some mid-life kevin costner angst, but this one basically breaks down as a failing 'virgin suicides'. tell you what, skip this one, skip the film 'the virgin suicides' and read the book of the same title by gene eugenedies. this film feels totally fake and generally useless. as proof of point, im writing this review at 15:30 into the film...a chick flick bonanza!

Nick Lachey: Finally Dating Again

Movie Review: The Final Cut PG13-4 Strings

a strong renter here. light sci-fi and philosophically interesting, though certainly not mainstream. it takes a few jags that dont really go anywhere, and there are tons of places this film couldve or shouldve gone.

Movie Review: Born Into Brothels R-4 Strings

its good to know that that there will be more people in hell than just charles manson and hitler. for the life of me, i cant figure out why God doesnt give up and end it all. the title here pretty much says it all. beautiful and tragic...really tragic.

Movie Review: Grizzly Man R-4 Strings

a heavy film of the first order; worthy of viewing on many levels. on the one hand i am envious, on the other i am very afraid of what the film says about me...someone who wants to make a difference, to do something no one has ever done before. a very human film. go ahead...you wont be sorry.

Pamela Anderson: A Really Big Forehead

Anniston: Bodyguard, Lawyer

Heidi Klum: Has A Day Job

Suri: Conspiracy Theory #1

The View: Menopause

Mathew McConaughey: Sexiest Man Alive

Povarotti: The Ring Of Fire

Movie Review: Superman Returns PG13-4 Strings

great movie! 4 strings? lex luther. dont get me wrong, kevin spacey does a fantastic job at it; the problem with supe fighting lex is that lex is only a man. yeah i know, brain vs braun. the problem is that i dont go to see a superman flick to watch a philophical debate. if i want that, ill go to nietzsche.

Movie Review: Ultraviolet PG13-3 Strings

after watching this, i fully understand why this one went straight to video. plenty of safe violence and three cheers for mila jovovich. if failure to launch is a chick flick, this movis is most certainly a dick flick. if you have a cool surround sount theater, youll like this one...otherwise, pass.

Movie Review: Failure To Launch PG13-2 Strings

a chick flick if there ever was one. note to hollywood writers: plot twists do not equal originality. i guess weve pretty much run out of ideas on the romantic comedy genre. mathew muconageggy really needs a good movie in the worst possible way.

Rush Limbaugh: Viagra Is Good To Go

Angelina Jolie: Plays Nice

Barbara Bush: Elvis Gets A Chubby

Kathy Griffin: Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

Madonna's Latest Line: Slag...35 Years Late

Roger Ebert: Till Then, The Balcony Is Closed

Lil Kim: Only In America ,Yo

Fergie: Which Way To The Tard Level?

Star Jones: Finished Talking To Media

Nick And Jessica: Dumb And Dumber