Movie Review: The Holiday PG13-1 String

its kind of become a holiday tradition around here to watch at least one crappy chick flick each year. 2hrs and 16mins!!!!! 4 minutes shorter than apocapypto. nothing happened for the 1st hour, then everyone falls in love by the end. not even worth renting...enless you have 2 and a half hours youd like to kill.

Movie Review: Strangers With Candy R-3 Strings

this film failed when it started telling (or attempted to tell) a story. the first 2/3rds as just stupid, simple bafoonery (think 'airplane'). but once it tried to get me to actually care...look, im only human--i can look at a half-wit sympathetically for so long. my brother and i both fell asleep during this one. bad times.

Movie Review: Tenacious D: The Pick Of Destiny R-4 Strings

i've forgotten how funny stupid is. sure, there are a couple (hundred) f-bombs, but for stupid prat falls and simple giddy humor, youre not going to do better. open a brew, and enjoy the hyperbole. my brother and i laughed our kiesters off.

Movie Review: A Prarie Home Companion PG13-1 String

chardonnay liberals would absolutely love this film. i had to focus to catch all of the snide sarcasm and ironic trendiness. so many cool actors, so much wit, it felt like the film was trying hard to make me feel like a simpleton. thats what i need, under-educated actors trying to condescend to me. i liked this the first time i saw it when it was called 'a mighty wind'.

Movie Review: Clerks II R-4 Strings

the brilliance of 'clerks' was that it was about absolutely nothing other than absolute lamers having no lives. the failure of 'clerks II' is that it tries to tell an actual story. there is, however, a 'star wars' vs. 'lord of the rings' debate that rivals the 'when harry met sally' 4 call scene. above par in every way.

Movie Review: Borat... R- High 5 Strings

the last time i laughed this hard was while watching 'airplane' as a kid. this is as funny as it gets. sure there are some staged moments, but i can live with that for the authentic stuff. one warning though: leave your personal/social morality at the door, otherwise you will be offended nonstop. ver nice!

ps. the south wont shut up about seceding (and in general, being 'the south'), as far as im concerned, let them seced no one i know is interested in their racist gentry and self-serving religiousity anyway. back to your regular programming. make sexytime!

Movie Review: See No Evil R-1 String

bad one. plenty gross, hence the extra string. once again, we have gorgeous people (who happen to be convicts????) all serving time cleaning an abandoned hotel. too many people and no real plot. freak though he is, kane does not an actor make.

Movie Review: Art School Confidential R-1 Strings

This flick started out like 'sixteen candles', turned into 'rushmore', then stumbled into a bizzarro 'raising arizona'…but not in a good way. The slapstick stuff at the beginning is some of the best ive seen in years, but I simply don’t get how a perfectly good idea turns into such unbelievable rot.