Movie Review: Enchanted PG-3 Strings

one string down for giving my daughter nightmares...f-ing dragon. silly movie best watched with someone who can easily laugh at absurdity (jen). plenty of self aware humor and certainly cute. im not a big fan, though, of the 'no it's a serious movie' nonsense.

Movie Review: Bug R-3 Strings

people infested by bugs...or are they?????? weird. tries very hard to be a thinking mans film. fails on some crucial details. one string down for being vague, one string up for ashley and the judds! a worthy rental, though you may end up frustrated and have a ton of questions...check imdb.com if youd like. i can tell you, youve never seen a film like this.

Movie Review: Beowolf PG13-4 Strings

or as jen likes to say: bay-o-woof. at first i felt like a tard for watching a cg movie (think shrek), but that changed. there were moments when this got really slow...like norse mythology slow...but the action saved the film. someday the cg tech will be stunning. a good dude film.

Movie Review: 28 Weeks Later R-3 Strings

NOT A ZOMBIE MOVIE! the rage virus breaks out again...all because a couple of idiot kids. movies would be so great if they didnt involve twerps like that. i couldve done with less of the extreme-close-up-shaking-camera-scary-noise business, but its a decent fright. just keep in mind: its all the kids' fault.

Movie Review: Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer PG-1 String

i REALLY wanted to like this film...but...dancing mr fantastic...vague enemy...no plot. strange one-liners and, if i recall, a fight with a planet/entity. long ago, i viewed the F4 as a semi-intellectual group...not here. i wish people would stop saying jessica alba is a 'real' movie star.

Movie Review: Bee Movie PG-4 Strings

activist bee in america. one string up for not playing "the bee talks!!!!!" card. i cant see kids really enjoying this film. not that its strictly for adults, but kids really wont understand issues about relationships, education, and activism. funny and different. go ahead and watch it in the theaters...tell them 'uncle duhliterate' sent you.

Movie Review: The Wind That Shakes The Barley NR-2 Strings

fictitious flick about the "troubles" between the english and the irish. standard fare. generally, id say there is good reason why you've never heard of this film. in the age of terrorist bombings, this film actually seems pretty tame...though i CAN tell you that many of the irish pub songs make a TON more sense after seeing this one.

Movie Review: Hacking Democracy UR-3 Strings

voting machines and how they suck. i had never really thought about the processing of votes in the u.s. after watching this film, im certainly nervous about the potential for compu-geeks getting their hands on, what is supposed to be, an average election. an eye-opening flick for politicos.

Movie Review: So Goes The Nation UR-3 Strings

documentary about the fight for ohio. apparently whomever wins ohio wins the presidency. i say screw ohio, 1) theyre at least 32 years behind the rest of the country and 2) theyre mostly white voters...yeah, they represent the rest of the u.s. fine doc...politics at its best.

Movie Review: Vacancy R-3 Strings

couple gets stranded at an old hotel whose owners make snuff films. ever watch a movie and find yourself saying, "all you have to do is," or, "why didnt he just?" this is THAT kind of film. one string up for kate beckinsale. old-school thriller with only a few thrills. didnt scare jen at all, and she scares easily. fine pizza renter.

Movie Review: Blood Diamond R-3 Strings

the damning effects of the diamond industry on the little guy. this was sold as a "true story based" film (a la "lord of war"), but stumbled more than once into action film territory, complete with explosions, death and the hope for a brighter day. a bit cliche.

Movie Review: Rock The Bells R-4 Strings

documentary about the wu tang clan's last show as a complete group. fascinating by all accounts. chump wants to put on a gig, and faces near riots and a band that is entirely uncontrollable. im not an over the top wu tang dude, but i was absolutely pissed that at the end, after all the work, they didnt show a single song performed at the concert...probably contractual issues, but MAJOR anti-climax.

Movie Review: The Painted Veil PG13-0 Strings

i have to admit i didnt watch the whole thing, i just couldnt handle it. victorian/turn of the century films/books/poems just kill me. slow and high on feminine romantic drama. ive got a better idea for you...rather than see this film, read 'the storm' by kate chopin...pretty much the same. then again, i didnt watch the whole thing.

Movie Review: Pathfinder UR-2 Strings

vikings vs. natives. i initially thought this was a cool monster movie, but came to quickly realize this is just a failed version of apocalypto. a little too modern in its interpretation of the old days...not that i was there or anything.

Movie Review: The Bridge R-4 Strings

haunting documentary about people who commit suicide off of the golden gate bridge. tragically felt a little hollow throughout, lacking some of the factual elements of why this happens so often. if youre interested in watching people leap to their doom from the bridge (yes, many were caught on film), this is just the movie for you.

Movie Review: Aquateen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters R-0 Strings

i like stupid movies. scratch that, i love stupid movies. i havent seen anything this bad in years. i kept waiting to laugh. is it edgy? sure. funny? not even slightly. obtuse jokes and shockingly unrelated crotch humor. jackass (one AND two) have more literary/cultural value than this.

Movie Review: God Grew Tired Of Us NR-2 Strings

documentary about the "lost boys" who were brought from africa to have an opportunity in america. naturally it had its blessings and its curses. painfully long and not really shocking if youve ever seen "the god's must be crazy." interesting film, but not in the least touching.

Movie Review: The Lookout R-3 Strings

stars that one guy and the uber hot isla fisher. a little canned, and again with the "plot twist you didnt see coming." boy loses memory, gets dragged into bank robbery. its a good starter film to the "mysterious criminal in a small town" genre. its a cheap rent. did i mention isla fisher is in it?

Movie Review: Perfect Stranger R-2 Strings

master's thesis done...back to the movies.

halle barry cannot act. she wavers between white and black voice more than oprah, and im starting to think shes a bit of a buttaface. nice little plot twist at the end, but it was one of those where i just knew some 'big' revelation was on the way. call me kreskin.