Movie Review: Resident Evil: Extinction R-2 Strings

Hot (mutant) chick fights not hot undead (not zombies). The plot here only makes sense if you actually follow the Resident Evil plot. Lots of talking. Fantastically hot people stuck in unearthly situations involving (not)zombies. Go figure.

Movie Review: Sunshine PG13-3 Strings

Reignite the sun. Brilliant concept...for Sci-Fi fans ONLY!!!! The film cuts quickly and assumes the viewers ability to assume and understand its transitions. Like all conceptually brilliant sci-fi films, it fails miserably at the end. If you're a big nerd rent it, otherwise pass.

Movie Review: 3:10 To Yuma R-4 Strings

Uber violent western flick. I never saw the original, so don't bust my balls. This film, however, is one of the reasons why I love film. Morally difficult and nuanced. "Manly" performances, but all of it felt truly authentic. Watch sober...you won't be disappointed.

Movie Review: Cloverfield PG13-4 Strings

Non-explained monster attacks NY city. This movie is about as good as you can make it for a "first person" point of view. But because of that "Blair Witch" style, there are a lot of questions left unanswered. If you're a feaux intellectual type, you will have lots of questions at the end. Better than average.

Movie Review: You Kill Me R-4 Strings

Alcoholic hitman falls in love. Fun film if you have no compunction for human life. Really a treat if you've ever hit bottom and enjoy the dynamic of group therapy sessions. Didn't buy the 'no one gets busted for murder' angle, but darkly funny.

Movie Review: Crazy Love UR-4 Strings

Documentary about a dude who blinds a girl with lye and then eventually marries her. A bit heavy on the humor angle, but if you're into strange docs, go ahead and check this one out...do it or I'll blind you with a stange chemical. Classic/modern doc approach.

Movie Review: The Invisible R-0 Strings

This is one of the worst films I've seen in years. The uber rich have troubles...the violent gangster attacker is a super hot chick who only really looks gorgeous when she takes her knit stocking cap off. My duhliterate dookie is smarter than this lame attempt at ghetto heart.

Movie Review: Live Free Or Die Hard R-3 Strings

Guy fights terror/bad guys. I don't remember a ton about this one. Action packed but entirely forgettable. I do remember thinking that there was no way a nearly 60 year old dude could pull off stunts like that...call me crazy.

Movie Review: Factory Girl R-3 Strings

Fact-based documentary about Edie Sedgwick's desire to escape her multi-million dollar trust fund. Sure she was a victim of the jerk that IS Andy Warhol, but she blew more money in an evening than I will make in a lifetime. Sorry babe.

Movie Review: Bottle Rocket R-3 Strings

Doofy brothers rob banks. Started out in 'Rushmore' territory and landed in 'Raising Arizona.' Some silly moments, but stupid overall. If you like your Wes Anderson stupid, go ahead and rent it.

Movie Review: The Reaping R-4 Strings

Butter-faced skeptic views disasters of Biblical proportions. This movie was entirely mis-sold as a modern horror flick, when it should've been run up as a redeux of the 70s "religious horror" genre (a la, The Omen, Rosemary's Baby et al.). When looked at like that, this was actually a pretty good thriller. Enjoy!

Movie Review: The Hoax R-4 Strings

Tiring movie. Based on a true story...man lies about interviewing Howard Hughes...and lies and lies and lies. Hard to keep with what is a lie and what is reality. Richard Gere plays the role well, though I'm not really certain how relevant a period piece on Howard Hughes is to today's moviegoing audience.

Movie Review: Waitress PG13-4 Strings

Gorgeous small-town "pie genius" girl stuck in abusive relationship. Not bad for a chick flick. Keri Russell is as yummi as pie (remember when she cut her hair?...eek). I wasn't down with the rampant penchant for extramarital affairs, nor did I buy the "new life outlook" at the end. Fun dialog, silly characters.

Movie Review: Ocean's Thirteen PG13-3 Strings

Hot dudes rob a casino, for revenge no less. Well the magic is officially gone. Not a terrible film, just so improbable (impossible). The only thing that saves it is solid "acting." Too cartoonish and witty for its own good. Even Don Cheadle's accent was phoning it in.

Movie Review: Daywatch UR-0 Strings

Russian vampires and a piece of chalk...seriously. I haven't been this disappointed in a movie since The Matrix III. Part 1, Nightwatch, was so promising, only to be followed up with multiple vague, and meandering plots (and characters). Terrible acting, editing. The third in the trilogy, Duskwatch, is supposed to be done by Hollywood...here's to hoping.

Movie Review: Stardust PG13-5 Strings

Star falls from sky, boy in love tires to find it for his girlfriend. I can see the comparisons between "Princess Bride," but Stardust lacks the innocence of that movie. Plenty funny and a great visual piece that really uses the tools available to make a visually fun experience. 2 strings up for Claire Danes, 1 string up for Michelle Pfeiffer. Hoo-rah!