Scared Straight-2 Strings

Hoodlums go into prison, and it's filmed. MTV did this 'in your face' thing a while back, and did a better job. A very dated film...the 'bad kids' were mostly white. Then again, it was fun watching white kids getting yelled at by minorities.

Before Night Falls-2 Strings

Javier Bardem plays gay Cuban poet. Yeah, it's that good. Lots of schlong and splendid Cuban jazz. Good visuals, but felt like it was 4 hours long...that and the wieners. Lots of them.

that's what she said.

Live Nude Girls Unite-2 Strings

Strippers unionize. This film is the reason why I don't go to strip clubs. These women fight for better conditions. Good for them...lame for the story. Real strippers, let's face it, are not attractive. Need proof? Watch this populist film.

Fastpitch-1 Strin

Fat, white, Republicans play softball like it was a real sport. But what about the moronic, rich Floridian who's spent a fortune on getting his team to be the best? What a controversy. I'm going out on a limb here to say: grown adult playing softball as a hobby, fine, I guess; as a real sport? You're among the lamest people on the planet. Prove me wrong.

The Girl Next Door-2 Strings

You'd think a movie about a regular girl turned porn star would be interesting...you'd think wrong. Maybe it's the internet age, but I find little worth filming when a 'normal' gal decides to go buck. Forgettable flick.

Fast, Cheap & Out of Control-1 String

Documentary about weird people vs. geniuses. Erroll Morris (don't ask) pulling fly turd out of pepper. Of course you could interview chumps and put it on film, but why bother?