Movie Theater Manifesto: Pt. 1

i recently saw king kong and had to move in order to not hear people talk during the dialogue (action on screen, me no speaky. dialogue on screen, me open mouthy, talk stupid).
ive come up with some solutions...

ATTENTION ALL MOVIE THEATER FRANCHISE OWNERS!

NUMBER ONE: do what shakespeare did...lower class in the front (the groundlings). in stadium theaters, $3 seats at the bottom/groundlevel rows. the rest of the seats are $1 more. poor people who are incapable of keeping themselves quiet will be seperated from those who want to have a quiet film experience. enforce it with the extra dolar you charge. i will pay a buck per movie to keep the idiots away from me...far away.

NUMBER TWO: turn up the volume. if you refuse to admit that the people who think laguna beach was a real show arent capable of staying quiet, they need to be silenced by loud volumes so that the rest of us cant hear them talk. turn it up.

united artist/regency cinemas/edwards...YOU ARE NOW PLACED ON NOTICE!

step up or shut up.