Movie Review: The Da Vinci Code PG13-4 Strings

poor ron howard. there was absolutely no way this could ever have been a good film. (remember that one guy who complained about the harry potter films?) this is faux-intellectual grade-B thriller at its best. i dont think youre going to get a better big-budget book adaptation than this.

Movie Review: Wating... R-3 Strings

i like this one because it reminds me of the useless/pervy/hyperbolic comedy of the early 80s (porky's, fast times, friday the 13th). lots of stupid frat humor, reminding me both why i never joined a frat and why i wish i was 'cool' enough to actually join one. ever held a job in the food industry? ever eaten at a restaurant? you may want to watch.

Movie Review: Ice Age: The Meltdown PG-3 Strings

an easy renter here. the only guy who actually earned his paycheck was john leguizamo (or however you spell it). hilarious dialogue, great voice. everyone else seems to just speak in front of a microphone. nothing like hearing ray romano mumble whiningly like the real ray romano (not to mention lafitah).

WTF??

is it me or are there an s---load of commericals during the game?? i know we all gots to get ours ($), but espn may want to rename the monday night game to 'ADHD plus commericals' football.

Movie Review: An American Haunting PG13-2 Strings

i dont know which is scarier: an early american demon or sissy spacek's face. the racial stuff feels inaccurate, as do the 'posession' scenes. in the excorcist, all the events were strictly demonic, here religion anddemons are foolish children's stories, and the demon simply becomes a ghost. a ghost we never actually see. LOTS of dizzying camera work. how many times do i have to say it: SHAKEY CAMERAS DO NOT AN ACTION OR HORROR MOVIE MAKE.

Movie Review: Masters of Horror: Imprint UR-3 Strings

first off, dont watch this unless youve seen 'ichi the killer' (which i havent, yet) or '3 extremes' (which i have). the 'american' in this film is a pathetic actor...simply terrible. as this one progresses, it blunders into 'twilight zone' territory, which is too bad (biting hands and all that). showtime pulled it from being aired, and im not sure if it was because it was so offensive, or if it was so stupid. hard to say.

Movie Review: Slither R-4 Strings

funny movie in the way that only horror movies can be. a little daring and actually frightening in spots. true to its name, there is plenty to squirm at. the only character i didnt like was the mayor...too hyperbolic and unbelievable. i suppose its a compliment to say that you are 'too overboard' when it comes to a movie about alien worms. come on...get some horror.

Movie Review: Poseidon PG13-2 Strings

one string less for gainfully employing (AND FOLLOWING) fergie. lots of dialogue cliche, and jacinda barret gets the coveted 'parent of the year' award for losing her 10 year old son on at least 2 occasions (during an epic ocean cruise disaster, mind you). one string up for hiring the girl from the 'phantom of the opera' movie. woohoo! i think im going to do my dissertation on the apparent north-american necessity for people to 'hook up' during disasters.

Movie Review: Stay Alive PG13-3 Strings

my brother would really appreciate this one. the initial gamer/menu freaked me out. boys...dont watch it with the girls. a nice blend of reality and gamer cgi. however i did like this one better last time when it was called 'the ring'.

Movie Review: Santa Clause 3 G-3 Strings

this is the kind of film you watch because you have a 5 year old daughter. she seemed to get a little bored during the dialogue, which seemed to be a metaphore for the entire movie...too much talking. a christmas movie released in the first week of november?? see 'flushed away' instead. martin short was funny tho.

Movie Review: Where The Truth Lies R-4 Strings

a mystery of the first rate. dont forget to check out the sets in this film...its an ikea dream. im convinced that kevin bacon would have a far greater career if his name werent kevin bacon. that guy really seems to get around.

Not My Joke, But Funny Anyway

Bridge School Benefit 10/21

fantastic line-up: death cab for cutie, trent resnor, foo fighters, brian wilson, dave mathews, pearl jam, neil young.the night went pretty much as youd figure. decent seats, sat next to the oc (above), a bunch of kids whose drunken mom paid for the tickets. the people behind us actually asked them to talk quietly so that the rest of us could hear the concert.


deathcab...exactly as youd expect. harmless mom rock.
trent reznor...flipping amazing. intense and powerful. won the night, and im not a nin fan.
foo fighters...grohl headbanging on an accoustic set. good times.
brian wilson...seemed angry and disoriented. used the prompter for most of his lyrics.
pearl jam...set was way too short. true vets of the bridge school stage.
dave mathews...studio musicians jamming it out. solid artfulness.
neil young...poor neil. followed (with his full band) dave mathews. most people started to leave. we left after song 3. the set was loose and the musicians didnt seem to know where they were going.


aside from that, a pretty bang-up shoo.

Borat...

i'd hoped to put a movie review here, but for some lame-tastic reason, hollywood studio pencil necks decided to cut the nation-wide screens by 1200, fearing that no one would go see the movie beyond 800 screens. i wouldve gone if i didnt have to go to the vacuuous north-side of town to see it. so hear it is...ATTENTION HOLLYWOOD FILM STUDIOS: THIS IS THE REASON WHY YOUR SALES ARE DOWN...YOU ARENT GIVING US WHAT WE WANT.

now, cohen is the only one who has to pay for it. good job chumps.

Movie Review: The Break-Up PG13-3 Strings

harmless and silly with a couple of actually funny moments...most all provided by john favreau. certainly worth watching if you have a significant other...of course, i fell asleep the first time i watched it, so that might be a bad sign all the way around.

Movie Review: Feast R-4 Strings

havent seen this much gore for a bloody long time. the film tried hard to be a quentin tarrantino flick, though for my money this one is far better than 'from dusk til dawn' even without all the schtick. beautiful people die gruesome deaths...does it get any better than that?

Movie Review: Mission Impossible 3 PG13-2 Strings

i originally thought this was nothing but tom-hate that brought this one down...boy was i wrong. it was like watching die hard and leathal weapon filmed by somebody with turret syndrome. what genius thought that a shakey camera was a good replacement for real action. that, and felicity was killed off in the first 20 minutes.

Movie Review: Blazing Saddles R-3 Strings

plenty offensive here. the racially glib 70s come into blaring contact with the jewishly glib 70s. by today's standards, there is little of redeeming value in this one, nor is it as funny as it once was. one-liners like 'scuse me while i whip this out' and 'where the white women at' seem out of place. harmless but offensive.