Movie Review: Delerious R-2 Strings

not as funny as i remembered it. watch this to realize how much funnier, and how much farther comedy is today. i didnt laugh like i thought i would. i actually had to copy over my tape of this concert because my dad thought it was too raunchy...i WAS in 5th grade.

comedy history 101:
redd foxx, richard prior, robin williams, eddie murphy, jerry seinfeld, dave chapelle.

there are others, im just covering the straight comedians--and no, i dont count that dude who screamed at everyone all the time, george carlin, or andrew dice clay.

Movie Review: Employee of the Month PG13-3 Strings

its about as funny as 'waiting', dane cook's other 'working loser, i mean, man' movie. i can tell you absolutely two things for certain 1) jessica simpson's twins look fabulous, and 2) as soon as she shows up on screen, she sucks up every ounce of comedy and film presence in to her 'black hole of unfunny'.

Movie Review: American Hardcore R-4 Strings

7seconds, tsol, suicidals, die kreuzen, gbh, dri, agent orange, capitol punishment, bad brains, minutement, adx, youth brigade, sst records, the descendants, the adolescents, cro-mags, minor threat, jfa, dk, circle jerks, agnostic front, red cross, doa.

if you havent heard of AT LEAST 8 of the above band names, you need to put away your mall-bought misfits skull face t-shirt and ask your mom to bake you some cookies, because that's about how punk you actually are.

great film, by the way.

Movie Review: Turistas UR-4 Strings

not like the commericials at all. not a traditional horror movie in the modern sense, but very much a throwback to the older films where the bad guy is a human, not a mutant. sure, its got the hot young people, but i was actually willing to go along for the ride. order a pizza and kick back.

Movie Review: Happy Feet PG-2 Strings

i havent seen a movie this blatantly anti-american in years. not only anti-human, but anti-male, anti-white, age-ist, racially stereotypical,pro-environment, morally condescending and anti-religious. all of it masked behind cuddly penguins. a cowardly movie...i hate getting preached at.

Movie Review: Gunner Palace PG13-4 Strings

take a look back in time, when the american presence in iraq was met with friendly waves. think about the lack of that affection currently. this documentary watches the evolution between friendship and enmity between two countries. if you dig that sort of thing, youll like this.

Movie Review: Half Nelson R-2 Strings

That teachers use substances is nothing shocking. Whats wrong with this film is the core of why teachers ‘use’. Education can be depressing enough without watching a 'crash and burn' movie about a decent teacher who a) crosses lines and b) reinforces negative racial stereotype. well acted, but hollow in the middle.

Movie Review: Casino Royale PG13-4 Strings

yes, this is a fantastic bond film. i didnt realize how lame the franchise had become until i watched this one. lots of good plot twists, and a few pretty obvious ones as well. this film did seem to drag out a bit past its welcome. cut 15 minutes, and the film become peerless.

Movie Review: Flushed Away PG-3 Strings

a fine movie, though not incredible, and most all of teh jokes will go over the heads of the little ones. the slugs are plenty silly, and i think i fell asleep at some point, but there is some originality with it and it is made by the 'wallace and gromit' folks, so thats good times as well.

Movie Review: The Devil Wears Prada PG13-2 Strings

it appears to me, fellas, that the women of the u.s. are very, very bored. if this film is what they (women) view as good cinema, we (men) are clearly not doing our jobs. and who did streep sleep with to get a nomination?? she was on screen for some 17 minutes...TOPS! predictable at every single turn. shouldve been a sitcom instead of a movie.

Movie Review: An Inconvenient Truth PG-4 Strings

it frustrated me when it felt like gore was stumping for a presidential candidacy. aside from the 'performance' element, there are some heavy facts about climate change that should be made known. pretending that the 'global' is a cyclical isnt accurate. see this movie.

Movie Review: Beer League R-2 Strings

not as clever as artie lange seems on the radio. a simple movie for simple minds. and ive gotta say, i didnt laugh very much. its probably because im no good at sports. it does feel very 'new york', so i'd gather folks on the east coast would get a kick out of the name calling...lots of 'come backs', which is nice for people like me who never have one when we need one.

Movie Review: Blades Of Glory PG13-5 Strings

the trifecta is complete...'ron burgundy', 'taladega nights' and 'blades of glory'. nothing's funnier than a cocksure ice skater. i really miss movies like this--funny for no reason other than simple lameness. no need for complex plots, just have fun. annoying lamers will say that ferrel should stop doing these roles, but those people should pretty much go to hell.

Movie Review: Reign Over Me PG13R-3 Strings

took a long time to get to the heart of the story (9/11), and i dont think that keeping it mysterious did anything other than take my focus of the top-shelf acting. needed to suspend my disbelief at every turn (empty streets in ny city??). open a bottle wine, and this movie will be much more pleasant.