Teeth R 3-Strings (B)/Film Rant 3.0

Woman has teeth in her vajajay (blame Oprah). At first its a curse, but we eventually discover that she now has the upper hand with male/female relationships, because she can chomp off anything that contra(dicts) her. Empowering? Sure...especially if you'd like to rip off every Johnson you see. I trust that I'm a pig for saying this, but I hate to think that women hate men this much.

I will take this moment to establish that I long for the old days in which "nudity" in movies was code for "topless woman," not code for "Weinerschnitzel" constantly shoved in your face. I'm cool with the sausage, but I'm also down with the taco. I'm a little tired of movies in which the dong is [literally] cut, burned, or eaten (by crabs or dogs), when, in contrast, I see no other form of contemporary sharing. OK, I get it, men are heinous...is this our penance?