Movie Review: Serenity PG13-4 Strings

let me start with 2 things: one) why is this movie pg13? and two) this is the worst title ive seen in years. years! great fx movie. loud violent female beats up poor simple men. why do casting directors keep hiring square-jawed midwest america types for the lead? it really drags the film into cliche, hyperbole and didact. (look at me with the big words!) this is better than most, though not as good as so many people were saying.

Carrying The Rock Banner All By Himself

come on green day, step it up you "punk" rockers. ctv reports:

George Michael said his arrest for suspected drug possession in London this weekend was "my own stupid fault, as usual."

what happened to the good old days when musicians were the symbols of our free wheeling selves?..the people we wanted to be but couldnt because of our mortgages. queen, led zepplin, aerosmith...drugged to the teeth, flamboyant and loose moralled. rock stars today just dont get it. he's passed out in a car. that should make him a social icon, yes?

to the younger readers, this is part of the reason why older people think your music is lame. too clean cut, too nice (too white).

95% Punk Ain't Half Bad

why is the hall of fame in ohio? bbc reports:

Punk band the Sex Pistols have refused to attend their own induction into the US Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

you know, id raise my middle finger of solidarity to these guys if i hadnt seen johnny rotton doing red carpet interviews for vh1 several years ago. i think he was supposed to be their danger guy (crazy guy interviews grammy attendees). he was wearing a pink checkerboard coat. it was the day that punk died. i saw a reebok advert with iggy pop. no, i dont think he was being ironic.

Apparently Middle East Still Angry

you know, id be angry too if all i had to look at was a desert. usa today reports:

Intense fighting between Sunnis and Shiites will be a critical test of Iraq's U.S.-trained security forces and could scuttle Bush administration plans to begin bringing U.S. troops home this year.

ive asked it before, but i want to know where all those machine guns are coming from. can someone answer that? news reporters of the world: please dont report on the middle east anymore until there is peace over there. violence in iraq?? shocking! announce peace?? figure God is just around the corner, or hell is freezing over.

Whole World Is Angry

apparently no else in the world wants jeffersonian democracy.

President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo declared emergency rule in the Philippines on Friday.

this all started with the hanging chad. you know, if america cant pull together a quality election, how can we expect third world countries to get it right (ok, the phillipines is a 2 1/2 world country, i accept that). seems like no one is happy with their elections anymore. what happened to blindly accepting results?? how i long for the days of ignorant pliability. vote perot!

Lesser Bond Deffends Even Lesser Bond

the english just arent that interesting as spies. cjad reports:

Roger Moore, who played Agent 007 in seven of the James Bond movies, said Wednesday that critics of the film franchise's new star, Daniel Craig, should give him a chance. "He's a helluva good actor," said Moore, 78, noting that critics haven't even seen Craig in the role yet.

i basically think the real problem is that this whole franchise is dead. i know there are people who will want to hang me for that sort of comment, but roger moore was ok as bond, and pierce brosnan wasnt much better (bit of a fem, if you ask me). this new guy looks a little freaky in the eye area...i support any bond who is as ugly as me. sean connery is the only real 007, and this franchise should be shut down.

Movie Review: Runaway Jury PG13-5 Strings

if you like john grisham type movies...lawyers in the south, extreme plot twists, asexual characters...this movie is clearly for you. nothing really that dangerous about it, but im impressed by the writing in this one. i like john cuzak, though he hasnt played a different character since 'say anything'. a movie about extreme (and legal) jury tampering in a gun trial. you know its fiction when the gun lobby gets put on trial!

Hot Is The New 21

one more reason to hate beautiful people. tmz reports:

Jesse McCartney is a teen idol -- a hot young singer. The 18-year-old is learning the perks of Hollywood -- that you can illegally enter a nightclub and drink, no questions asked.

i always wondered how this whole underage party thing worked. but this seems kind of obvious. what i'd like to know is where the parents are? church knitting groups, no doubt. sure everyone tries to sneak some hooch as a kid...thats a given. but isnt it the job of the parents to sort of kill that thing? maybe if youre the parent of a child star, you give up after their first number one album.

He Gets To Keep The Brain In The Divorce

how much would you want to be paid to put up with her? extra reports:

Nick dropped a bomb in his papers, asking for alimony. Adding fuel to the fire, the hunky singer also wants all of his jewelry back and wants to keep all his earnings he accumulated since the split.

i dont blame him for wanting the jewelry back. 'newlyweds' was a guilty pleasure show of mine, and he constantly dropped the bling on this girl; she always seemed to treat it like costume jewelry...he spent more on her in one sitting than i make in a year. people are pounding him for wanting some scratch from her. i really think he earned it.

she seems to have no concept of reality, and is totally milking the turdfest that is the 'boots' song. im even going to go on record as saying that she's not very good looking.

Blondes Are More Boring

strange faced boy puts up with odd featured girl. yahoo reports:

In divorce papers, Nick Lachey is seeking spousal support from Jessica Simpson, and he wants his jewelry back.

i remember watching this show and thinking...'this girl has got wicked romance isssues'. he spent so much money on this slag, its good to see that a fella is man enough to know when he's been outdone by a blonde. stand up for all men nick. sometimes women can be evil...sometimes.

Wanted: SWM Idiot

i like my whites with lots and lots of corn rows. yahoo reports:

Kevin Federline is ready for a backlash over his brand-new role as white-boy rapper.

always remember hes just trying to keep it real. at some point, i fully expect his album to contain the word 'boyyyyye'. prove me wrong kids...prove me wrong.

Movie Review: The Brothers Grimm PG13-2 Strings

what a bizaare and uncommon story. usually that would be enough to garner many strings of support. it took me an hour to understand what this film was actually about. the real brothers grimm deserve so much more than this hack job. this shouldve/couldve been a great film. the french subtext was painful and useless. watch this if youve got nothing else to do on a saturday.

Movie Review: The Missing PG13-2 Strings

poor ron howard. he can never seem to get things going. this movie started out as an intriguing period piece. tommy lee jones delivered his lines just like he did in the fugitive. the dialogue included alot of colloquialisms and contemporary language (pissed off). well over two hours. round about 1 hour 10 minutes i gave up on it being a quality movie and just started half watching it. dont bother.

The Long Goodbye, Part 2

not that their anything wrong with that. generic blogger reports:
As we expected, Tom Cruise is denying rumours that he’s split - or splitting - up from Katie Holmes. The couple are engaged to be married and expecting their first child together later this spring.

when he was on opie, i think he was actually saying "i love her, but im not in love with her." part 2 of the break up is the most important part...its also the longest. could last several months, for obvious reasons. if he leaves her while shes prego, than down go his numbers ($$). theyll hold it together until after the kid is around. poor katie.

You Mean That's Illeagal??

in a shocking report, a country singer is drunk. usatoday reports:

John Michael Montgomery was arrested early Thursday and charged with driving under the influence and possession of a controlled drug, jail officials said.

it should be important to note that a bulk of the midwest and all of the south will be stunned that drinking and driving is actually illegal on anything other than your spouse. at this point, i pretty much figure he's a shoe-in for a grammy. impressive smirk dude.

There Are Some Things Money Can't Buy

"now's my chance to meet her and get some autographs for my nieces. spotlight reports:

Yesterday, according to AP, U.S. Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta branded Britney as "irresponsible", for driving with her four-month old.

there are only two reasons why politicians even know about brittany spears: 1) my blog, and 2) photos like these. stage two in this whole business, is a senate investigation (janet jackson nip anyone?), stage three will be spears in a public service ad stating how important child safety is. total cost to taxpayers? $725,000. shaming of former hot public icon? priceless.

Residual Checks Don't Pay Like They Used To

i thought this guy was borderline deaf. cta reports:
The Incredible Hulk is now a county sheriff's department reserve deputy.

it will probably come in handy that he's the incredible hulk, though i thought that mutants/super heroes would have the kind of retirement plans that would keep them out of this sort of work. will he use a gun, or will he just crush people like the hulk always does?

The Long Goodbye, Part 1

what would dr. phil say (wwps)? msnbc reports:
Contrary to reports, Tom Cruise's representative denies to Access Hollywood that he and Katie Holmes are putting an end to the TomKat.

you mean a four month relationship/engagement/pregnancy doesnt work well with a closet brokebacker/freaked out scientologist? i feel bad most for holmes. i get the feeling that cruise will pretty much convince her that the entire thing was her fault. poor katie, all she got out of the deal was a kid and a cold sore.

Movie Review: Pieces Of April PG13-3 Strings

this is the one with katie holmes...you know the one. youve almost wanted to rent it, but something about it seemed lame/just didnt add up. follow that impulse. holmes does not have the chops to pull of this movie. she's supposed to be disaffected kid from a disfunctional family, and i just dont buy it. too much of this felt thrown together. rushmore and royal tannenbaums does a better job, though this movie does have some touching moments.

The English Beat Visits Jerkwater Berg

small club+27 years of road experience= one killer show. what a distinct voice. dave wakeling shows no signs of slowing down. though the gig was billed as the english beat, im pretty sure it was just him and several ringers...though i dont know for sure. he did all the standards. not enough room to skank in, but a bloody good time was had.

Movie Review: Kung Fu Hustle R-5 Strings

you have never ever seen a movie like this. youve seen parts of it (matrix, shaolin soccer), but you cannot picture the sheer absurdity of this film. comedic and serious, violent, shocking and loving...alot like some people's parents. good flick, especially if youre down with the kung fu genre.

Well Fellas, Here's Your Chance

it was a great party, then spears showed up. yahoo reports:
Britney Spears, a Louisiana native, will celebrate Mardi Gras in New Orleans later this month when the devastated city hopes to revive some its old partying ways.

several years ago, i mightve been interested in a spears/mardi gras combo, but based on some pics of seen of her lately, i think id rather see dick chaney's chest...you know, the one with the surgical scars. im kind of in to that look (the heart bi-pass look). nothing says 'come to new orleans' like brittany spears. i wonder if she's taking the kid.

Revenge Of The Chin

sometimes this stuff is just too easy. yahoo reports:
Hours after the former Creed frontman tied the knot with beauty queen Jaclyn Nesheiwat in Miami on Friday, the rocker was rung up for public intoxication in Los Angeles.

you know, i have a feeling he's going to look back on this someday and laugh nonstop with his grandkids about it. what honeymoon isnt complete without an arrest...granted, its usually because of fighting and not public intoxication, but when youre in love, who can predict what laws are going to be broken.

Irony (n.) Using Violence To Prove You Aren't Violent

never mind what this does to freedom, free press, or freedom of speech. mideasttimes reports:

The United States on Wednesday hardened its stance in the international uproar over the publication of cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed, while four more deaths were reported in related violence.

here is a copy of the offending pic. according to the drawing, all muhammed is thinking about is violence. this. this is what it takes to start irrational insanity. this. somebody call robert maplethorpe, and let him have a stab at this whole muhammed thing.

why is no one telling these people they are proving the caricature to be true? how many have to die and how much damage has to occur before muslims say, "hey, arent we proving the world right by being violent?" we need a muslim version of ghandi, or a muslim mary poppins to assert some sanity and peace. save us jebus!

Movie Review: The Last Samurai R-3 Strings

i really liked this movie the first time i saw it when it was called dances with wolves. im getting a little tired of the typical white anglo=evil, everyone else=good movies. not that america doesnt deserve it, ive just seen enough movies that cover that particular subject. at 2.5 hours, this movie is rediculously long...about 2 hours too long, if you ask me.

4 Months Old...His First Car Seat

what does every 4 month old need? a car seat! tmz reports:

An employee of the Toys 'R Us in Porter Ranch, Calif., a suburb of Los Angeles, told TMZ that Spears and her assistant were there on January 15 to purchase a car seat and a stroller. The employee told TMZ the manager installed the seat in the assistant's vehicle.

doesnt this seem a little behind the curve? isnt a car seat one of the first things you snag for your kid...so you can get them home from the hospital? $10 says that brittany is the one who sits in it before the kid does.

And The Winner Is...U2?!?!

you know, i thought this was going to be another hip hop/r&b year. there were only three actual bands represented, so i figured even nominating them was just symbolic.

u2, pulls away with 5, including best album--a stunner, take that mariah. one of these days, u2 is officially going to be recognized as the best band ever. a radio hit on every album since war (their 3rd), and at least two hits on every album after. never broke up, never put out crap (except zooropa).

can someone please explain the difference between best record of the year (green day), and best album of the year (u2)?? congrats to john legend for best new artist...good to know we'll never hear from him again (the 'new artist' curse--arrested development, millia vanilli--i could go on).

Duhliterate Site (Finally) Passes 3,000 hits!

And for some reason, North Dakota is still considered part of the United States.

Misogyny. Try It You Might Like It

ive been doing this too long. i cant think of anything witty to say here. smh reports:
Rising film stars Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightley, better known for their work with their clothes on, have bared all for Vanity Fair.

you know, im torn with this one. part of me wants to high five myself (no, thats not a euphamism), the other part cant help but feel offended as a woman (no, im not a woman, but i like to think i speak for all of them). the only guy dressed is a man--a fashion designer. i wonder what he calls his new spring lineup, 'nothing, by tom ford'. keira is on my 'list', and johanssen is on my watch list, so i kind of feel like this is a red letter day.

A Rolling Stone Finally Gathers Moss...

you mean you can't say "you make a dead man come" on family television?? msnbc reports:
Censorship of their songs during the Super Bowl halftime show was “absolutely ridiculous and completely unnecessary,” the Rolling Stones said through a spokeswoman on Tuesday.

you know, i was going to say the same thing about the rolling stones even playing the halftime show. theyre only considered 'great' because they are still (for the most part) vertical. you know, "these guys are great! i cant believe theyre still playing!" allow me to gripe about all of the music for a moment. the superbowl shouldve been themed, Super Bowl XL: Irrelevant Musicians Entertaining Poorly (IMEP). aretha looked like a muppet, whats name singing with her was a seizure fest at red lobster.

thanks a ton janet jackson. we now officially have to endure some of the worst music the industry has to offer because of your chest.

Pop Star+Bad Parent=Blog Entry

lets hear it for the bbc starting to slum in the gutter with the rest of us! bbc reports:

Spears said she had her son Sean Preston on her lap in an effort to escape the paparazzi.

"I instinctively took measures to get my baby and me out of harm's way, but the paparazzi continued to stalk us," the chart-topping singer said.

never mind the baby on her lap, dig that brittany profile...she looks like brian setzer from the stray cats. well, brian setzer high on burritos. what an excuse by the way. people are chasing me in their cars, ill put my 4 month old on my lap. you know, i knew she had an inner genius lurking around in all that blonde hair. my hope is that the late 80s blonde jokes craze comes back into fashion.

Movie Review: The Cave PG13-1 Strings

i wanted to like this movie. critics said that it blew, and i wanted to prove them wrong. beautiful people in scarry situations just doesnt move me like it used to. how i long for marginally attractive people in a scary film (sigourney weaver, jamie lee curtis, arnold schwartzenegger). boring movie about caving. i dont remember how it ended...and that was two nights ago.

HW: Eng 252 2/7

finish chapter 3
pg 37 1-10
pg 38/39 1-10
pg 39 a-j

Movie Review: Into The Blue PG13-3 Strings

im not sure if jessica alba is the poor man's katie holmes, or katie holmes is the poor man's jessica alba. either way, this movie seemed like it was just an excuse to see jessica alba in a bikini. the movie was gratuitously long. beautiful underwater scenes (fish, sharks) and hot people getting into tropical paradise trouble. like the oc with guns.

Movie Review: Stoked: The Rise And Fall Of Gator R-4 Strings

this is one of the stronger documentaries ive seen for a while...and ive seen a few of them. i was a freshman when these skateboarders were on the top of their game. caballero, hawk, peralta, gator...these guys were the real deal. their decks, were $99, and i had to shop at wal-mart to afford my $45 deck. i had to make it last. i hated the gator look...always thought they were lame. more interested in bones/powell. this is a movie about the pipe era...ribs, nose/tail/truck guards. gator ends up killing someone (true story). pretty amazing and tragic. relive the early 80s of california.

Steelers On Top

the minute the game was over, i knew what the line was going to be: the refs, the calls...everything but how well or not well anyone played. here are a couple of facts on the issue: you cant push a deffender away with your hands. the ref was reaching for the flag, but couldnt get it out, but all anyone sees is the steeler 'making the call' for the ref. its called pass interference, cant be done. i aggree that there were some crap calls in there. steelers played terrible in the first half, but the steeler defence was on its game the whole time. period. the seattle offense was no where to be found. only two tangible stabs at the goal. they always seemed to falter on the steeler 40 yard line. i dont care about 'emotional tide' of the play, the seahawks shot themselves in the foot. play well whether the game is going your way or not. terrible play calls and ball/clock control killed seattle. 2 missed field goals! steelers got some breaks, but to say that they won simply because of the refs isnt accurate. the steelers may not have 'won' the game, but the seahawks (in my view) seemed to try pretty hard to lose it. i certainly wont gloat about the win, but seahawk fans should try and look at the whole game, especially that crappy halftime show.

Game On

See you in the end-zone.

Opie: Simple Minded Yokel

safe, orderly public lynching. tmz reports:
Several staffers from Harpo tell TMZ that Oprah Winfrey has taken the James Frey scandal "hard." One says she has been "very stressed out and upset about it."

i hope the literary community and publishers all tell opie to shove it when she wants another book for her club. call for a boycott of opie rinfwy's book club, authors of america. i even hear that there is a class action lawsuit against the frey (for the price of the book, and the time spent reading it). if that's the case, id like to sue some movie studios for wasting my time by putting a four star review on the poster, when the movie was clearly two stars at best.

Give A Brother A Break!

anyone else seeing a pattern here? tmz reports:
'American Idol' contestant Halicia Thompson has twice been convicted of crimes, one involving a police officer.

Thompson was arrested and convicted of criminal trespass in 1998, and she tells TMZ it was "racial."

how many people have gone on this show and been revealed as criminals, and what percentage of them are black? i smell lawsuits. aclu, get your act together. lets get serious, bo bice and clay aiken are certainly guilty of lame in the first degree...that's got to be illegal somewhere in this country (probably south dakota, or central michigan).